The last part (actually the biggest part of my holiday) was to the Philippines, specifically to the island of Palawan. I designed my trip so that I could get another chance to visit Taiwan and get the mountain exploration stuff done there and to get my sunny beach time in Palawan (in Coron, El Nido, and Boracay). I was looking forward to tasting Filipino food (despite being told by a coworker that he didn’t have any good food when he visited) and to experiencing the pristine, world-renowned white beaches and island hopping. Instead, my trip started off OK but ended up being a disaster, easily the worst travel experience I’ve had to date.

To start, I arrived in Manila to stay over one night. I did this because I had read online how Manila is one of the worst-rated airports in the world, mainly because the flights are routinely delayed, security cameras are not always operating, theft and money scams/extortion occur by people posing as airport employees, and among the four terminals that they have, there is no direct transportation between them. Each section is essentially its own airport, and the only way to get between each one is to try to get the terminal transfer bus, which may or may not arrive on time. So, when I booked my flight looking for the best price, my flights into and out of Manila were at two different terminals, so I made sure to leave myself an evening to stay over rather than try to scramble and hope that my connecting flight was made.

While on the plane, I was seated next to an older man and fellow American who routinely visits Manila to see his girlfriend. Among the things he talked about was that after getting his luggage, he just seeks out a taxi rather than take any of the car services that are advertised because they are a ripoff. I figured I would do the same, except that after I came out of the exit, I couldn’t tell which cars were regular taxis and which were the service cars. Numerous people tried to wave me down to get me to go to their cars, and in hindsight, I should have realized these were the car services, but I just went with it. The cars all had numbers and letters on them, much like license plate numbers, so I thought these were the regular taxis. When I was quoted the price, I knew it was much more than I should have paid, but at that point, I just wanted to get to my place. Given how close my place was to the airport, I confirmed that I was overcharged a lot.

When the car took me to my Airbnb place inside a gated community (meaning that there was a security guard and toll booth you had to pass by to get in), we first passed through some streets that were noticeably poor. In fact, even before we got to these streets, the areas all around looked poor. I had read that the Philippines is a poor country, but I still didn’t realize the extent to which poverty was rampant. When I got to the building, it seemed nice enough. The room itself was less polished-looking than it seemed on the website, but at least the A/C worked. Later in the evening, I tried getting in contact with the Airbnb host to ask about transportation back to the airport. I had no luck, so I contacted the housekeeper, who let me in earlier. She said the only thing to do was to try to use Uber, or else try to walk to the main street and hail a taxi. After seeing what the streets were like, as well as taking into account the distance I would have to walk with my luggage, there was no way I was going to do that and hopefully get a metered taxi. I downloaded Uber, and luckily I did get a driver. Even with the address, it seemed like he had some difficulty getting us to the airport terminal. But eventually, we made it.

After I arrived at Coron Airport, I was surprised at just how tiny it was. I mean, really tiny. I guess this makes sense if you are in a poor country, but I assumed that because this is a tourist destination, the airport would be bigger. I got my luggage directly from the baggage handlers (no conveyor belt here), then I asked around about getting a ride to my other Airbnb place in town. After about a half-hour ride through hilly landscapes and on a road that was paved at some points and not others, I was dropped off at the corner near my place (which I couldn’t figure out because my place had no sign on it and the host’s phone number didn’t work, so neither I nor the driver could reach him to ask). Luckily, the host’s wife saw me and flagged me over. The host was out somewhere, so she showed me to my room. When I asked about the WiFi, she gave me the information. When she told me the password, I did a double take. I thought she said something like “F*ck you, bitch,” so I asked again. Then she told me that it’s “fuckubitch,” with a slight giggle. Apparently the host has a crass sense of humor and isn’t the least bit ashamed of it. Touché.

Later that evening, as I went down to look for some dinner, the host and his wife, along with their newborn, were eating some noodles and had a birthday cake and told me to sit down and have some. We chatted for a bit, and the host, John, told me that he grew up in that house and had also lived in Los Angeles. After dinner, I went back upstairs to try to plan for tomorrow.

After finally setting up an island hopping tour (something that you must do here if you want to spend any beach time while here, due to the fact that Coron is a port area and doesn’t have any beaches that are swimmable), the owner of the tour company stopped by to see where I was so that the van knew where to get me in the morning.

I knew something was a bit off the next day when my throat felt a bit raw and sore. I chalked it up to there being a lot of smoke and motorcycle exhaust fumes in the air. I also figured that because I got such terrible sleep due to the non-stop noise from barking dogs, roosters being loud jerks, and the occasional wind gust that made the windows rap and tap, that also contributed to my not being in tip-top shape.

After being driven to one of the many holes in the wall snorkeling shops to rent some gear, I was dropped off at the tour boat. I was told to get on board by walking along a thin board while in my flip-flops. This didn’t seem like a good mix, so I took them off and slowly walked the plank (aboard the boat, not plunging off of it). After everyone arrived, we set off to the first place on the tour, called Siete Pecados. This is where there is some good snorkeling. I had only done snorkeling once while I was on an island-hopping tour in Koh Samed, but this area seemed better.

Next up on the tour was a stop at the famous Coron Bay, which has a 70% fresh water lake called Kayangan Lake in its center. The passengers got off and were guided up the hill to the famous spot overlooking the bay and its blue-green lagoon, while the employees began to prepare lunch.

After taking photos here, we were then led down to the lake area, where we could swim for a bit. I was amazed by the color of the water.

Next up was lunch on another island. What the crew made for us was quite a feast. What was more impressive was that they made it on the boat. Even more impressive was that they carried each dish by hand down from the boat onto the shore where our table was.

Here is the feast that was offered to us. It consisted of several fish dishes, eggplant, crab, fruits, and vegetables.

This was certainly the best food I had while in the Philippines. Sure, a couple of the dishes could have used a bit more seasoning, but these dishes were good. I also got to taste a local sea vegetable, the one that looks like green fish eggs strung together. It’s funny because when you bite into them, they seem to burst in your mouth. They also tasted very briny.

After lunch, we went on to a place where you can see a small (very small) cave as well as swim along to see the entrance to another lagoon (the “Hidden” lagoon), but the entrance is quite small and you can’t access it at certain times of the day due to the tide level. I only managed to get some departing photos as the afternoon sun was starting to lower.

The last place we went was just a smaller island with a not-so-impressive beachfront, so I decided not to take any photos there. While on the boat ride back, the hostess offered us some sweet rice flour buns. They reminded me of muffins. They tasted good, so I had three.

That night for dinner, I wanted to try chicken adobo, but they didn’t have any more chicken, so I settled for beef adobo. It was OK—not bad, but not as tasty as I had hoped for. The taste reminded me of a beef dish that I had eaten when I was younger.

The next day, my throat was noticeably more sore, and my lymph nodes were swollen. I told my host, John, that I should see a doctor, so he arranged for his cousin to take me to the local doctor. The doctor’s “office” was also a hole in the wall. The medicines were all behind the desk counter, and there was only one room to see patients. When the doctor did see me, he asked me a few questions, took one look at my throat, and said that I had strep! Damn. (I figured it could be something like that, but I was hoping that it wasn’t.) He told me the medications he would prescribe, and I had to pay for them out of pocket. Yay! When I told him of my history of having strep throat and tonsillitis, he said that these illnesses can affect the heart valves if not treated properly and can over time cause damage to them. He suggested that, at some point, it might be good to get a scan of my heart done just to be safe. Great.

Knowing that I was out of commission, I figured I should just take it easy rather than try to continue scheduling more activities. This really bugged me, but I knew that I was contagious and that doing any strenuous walking, swimming, or hiking was probably not a good idea. So I tried to occupy myself by responding to emails, editing photos, updating my blog, and watching episodes of The Golden Girls.

I still wanted to try to eat some more local foods, but my throat was making that more and more difficult. The doctor told me not to eat sugar, but drinking mango and coconut shakes seemed to be the only thing that temporarily helped the soreness. For lunch, I got a noodle and pork dish. It looked fine, but again, it seemed to lack any deep flavor. It just tasted salty and greasy.

That evening, I also ordered some soup that I hoped would be good, but again, I was disappointed. I had also not paid attention to the fact that even though I love lemons and limes, it’s not a good idea to squirt lime juice all over your food when you have strep throat! Ouch. Lesson learned the hard way.

The next day, I again just tried to relax and grab some money from an ATM. After asking and searching online, I found it (“it” being the one that accepted foreign debit cards). While on my way back, a woman called out to me. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or not, but I heard it again. I first thought that maybe I had left something at the ATM. I turned around, and it was an older woman jogging towards me, trying to flag me down. She looked tired and ran down, and soon I realized she was trying to flag down tourists to “spend time with them,” probably in exchange for money or whatever. She then asked if I was alone, and this immediately raised red flags. I lied and said that I was meeting someone. There was some momentary confusion about me being alone, and soon I just walked away.

That evening, I decided that I couldn’t stay in my room any more, and I decided that whether I was well rested or not (I was not) and whether I was on medications or not (I certainly was), I was going to walk up Mount Tapayas and see the view overlooking the harbor. I managed to do this, huffing and puffing the whole way, reminding myself that I had spent 3 years in China and climbed stairs like this before (especially while visiting Yellow Mountain). I felt exhausted, but I was vindicated by a nice view at sunset.

The last pictures I took while in Coron were from across the street at an upstairs café.

The last evening there, I also decided to go to the local Maquinit hot springs. The road over was bumpy, and dust filled it. The hot springs were nice—not quite as hot as ones I had been to before in Taiwan, but pleasantly warm.

During this blog post, I didn’t go into too much detail about how sick I actually felt. I soon developed a cough from the lousy air in addition to my strep throat. On top of that, I continued to get crappy sleep due to the noise (although I did eventually ask John’s wife for a fan, and she gave it to me, so that was nice of her, and it did help some). The A/C was also not as effective as I had hoped, so the fan also helped with that. I hate not getting sleep, and not getting sleep while you’re on a vacation that you paid for while not being able to do most of the things you wanted because you now have a strep throat and a cough doesn’t do much to lift your spirits.

For the next leg of my trip to El Nido, I had to take a ferry to get there. When my host John asked me how I intended to get to El Nido, I insisted that I wanted to take the fast ferry (“Montenegro Lines”). I’m glad I did because I had read awful things about people taking the regular 6–8-hour slow ferry, how uncomfortable the seats are, how choppy the waters can be, and how bad the bathrooms are.

When I arrived and got a motor taxi to my place, I was not thrilled with what was located right next door. More roosters!!! The place seemed OK on the outside, but once in my room, I could feel the floor and walls shake a bit as I walked. Again, the shower heater didn’t work (just like in the previous place in Coron), and the sound of the roosters was unbearable. By now I was still sick and sleep deprived, but now my stomach was aching a bit, and whenever I tried to eat something, I felt like my appetite was maybe 1/3 of what it should have been. Of course, I continued to get more lousy food, and shakes seemed to be the only good thing. All the food I got was either just OK, bland, or just overly salty and greasy. This did nothing to help my appetite or stomach.

The worst part, though, was that my cough got worse here. The air felt like it had even more smoke and exhaust fumes than in Coron. My cough was starting to make my stomach hurt whenever I coughed. I again had to cancel an island-hopping tour due to being so run down. I did manage to go get massaged several times, but that was it. There were also a few power outages around the area, and I later read that that is common here. The roosters were what really sent me over the edge, though. I had no idea that roosters not only wake people up early in the morning but that they make noise all day and night! They are so loud! I don’t know how anyone gets any sleep having them around.

The only other thing I did was go to a beach further down the shoreline for the sunset. It was a nice-looking area, though still not as amazing as I was led to believe based on what I had read about Palawan.

In order to fly to Boracay, I needed to first get back to Coron. After initially being told that there were no more tickets available for the fast ferry back and conceding that I might have to endure a “Posiden Adventure” voyage back, someone that I met there told me that he had a friend who worked at a ticket office and would check to see if there were still tickets left. Luckily, there were! I was able to take the fast ferry back (at 6 a.m.), but this time the ride back was much choppier than before. At one point, the boat was hitting the waves so hard that we became airborne a few times, and I heard a few Chinese people crying out. The crew was handing out barf bags just to be safe.

This time I stayed at a different place, a small hotel rather than an Airbnb place. It wasn’t long after check-in that I realized perhaps I should have stayed here before since there wasn’t as much noise to deal with. Finally, it was time to say goodbye to El Nido and Coron. The last part of my trip was to Boracay. In order to fly out of El Nido straight to Boracay, rather than having to connect in Manila, I had to search a while online when booking my trip before finding the airline “Air Juan.”

I had given up on the idea of finding great food, but at least Boracay would surely have great beaches to choose from, and I needed more beach time before having to come back to China. At the airport (another tiny airport), all nine of us passengers piled into a tiny, tiny plane. How tiny? This tiny. No drinks or snacks are offered on this flight, folks.

After taking a shuttle bus to the ferry, then the ferry to Boracay, then a van to my Airbnb “Eco-tel,” I was able to settle down. Again, the hotel seemed nicer on the website than it did in person, and the WiFi was unsurprisingly bad. The weather also seemed to be crappy as clouds rolled in. I still went to visit the beach to get some beach time in, though.

Of course, the food places along the beach and behind the road along the beach were expensive (by local standards). Unfortunately, this did not translate into good food. What you really paid for was being able to eat on the beach during the day and night. The service everywhere (not just here but also in El Nido and Coron) was slow, too. The last day here, the weather was nicer, and I again looked up different beaches to see. I settled on going to the northern tip of the island. The water there is rougher, but I like big waves, so this suited me fine. I also got a nice sunset. In order to get a lounge chair here, you had to buy a drink, so I did. I stayed in the water as long as I could before the sun went down. When it did, I captured it.

It might seem hard to imagine how bad I felt during this whole trip and how disappointed I was from looking at these images, but this trip really was the worst I had ever taken. The idea that I spent money and time to go here just to get a step throat, a bad cough (which lasts for an entire month, mind you), total sleep deprivation, and having lousy meal after lousy meal really chapped my *ss. The worst meal I had was for lunch at a place that was basically a knock-off toilet-themed restaurant that I had been to once in Taipei. I ordered their spaghetti with meat sauce, which should have been a red flag right there, and got a plate of spaghetti with slices of weird processed hot dog-sausage meat (that reminded me of the crap that kids snack on in China all the time) and tomato sauce that was sickeningly sweet. I told the waitress that I couldn’t eat it and ordered some chicken fingers. They were better, but not by that much.

I just chatted with a friend of mine in Hangzhou and asked her about her experience in the Philippines in September of last year. She went to a small island off of Cebu and said that although the food was quite expensive for what it was, she was still satisfied with it. So, maybe there is hope elsewhere. I’m sure the Philippines has more to offer, but after spending two weeks at three different places, I have no plans to go back. I think I will continue to explore other areas of Asia (or go back to places I’ve been before and explore them further).